Believe

It's been over a year. I thought I'd forgotten what happened. I thought that if I just pretended it didn't happen then I'd be okay. Instead it ate me alive inside for a year- to the day. A year to the day after it happened I performed again, a different show. This time I was the soloist. In that solo, I told my entire story. I cried like a child when it was over. I thought that it was finally over. So I shoved the horrid memories to the back of my mind. I decided I'd never tell another soul what happened to me that night. But skeletons in closets have a way to reappear as ghosts to haunt you until the day you die until you face it and eventually accept that what happened happened. And eventually... Forgive him for what he did. That will probably take more than anything has ever taken before. I have forgiven everybody except him. He doesn't deserve forgiveness but if I don't then it will haunt me and I will rot slowly inside with the righteous hate I feel toward him. The way my stomach churns at thoughts of him... Oh God, my God... Please help me to forgive and heal these wounds.