My life

Screaming
Or dead angry silence.
I never know which to expect.
Walking on egg shells all day long.
Confusion
Anxiety
Frustration
Sadness
I'm not quite sure what to do or say.
Regret
Guilt
Shame
Loss
Lord please rescue me.
I need to feel You by my side
Cause I'm drowning in this whirl pool,
This whirl pool of hate that is my house.
God I'm so sick of everyone being sad and mad and bitter and cynical.
It feels as if hope is dying slowly in this home.
I can't help but hate the church.
More and more each day.
Bitterness
Cynicism
Where is the hope?
Where is the joy?
Where is the peace?
I have it secured inside of me.
I feel it still.
I just don't understand why
My dad is so furious and upright all the time
I mean I guess I do understand.
I'm just so frustrated and sick of this.
Of the angry tense silence.
The yelling the screaming
God hold me in Your arms tonight
I'm sick of being alone.

I've lost some weight

Which is good.
I've got a 12.0 out of 12 right now (:
I'm keeping up on my homework.
I've got my job back. I may start working this week.
I'm signing up for summer orientation.
My life is going good.
Unfortunately though, I haven't been spending as much time with God as I need to.
Lord I pray for determination in my relationship with You, in school, in my new diet thing, and in reading my Bible.

Lean cuisine

Has the best frozen dinners like ever.
The four cheese pizza=amazing
Beef and broccoli is delicious
Stuffed cheese rigatoni is also grand (:
Just saying.

Last night

I had some cheese crackers and a slice of chicken and ham stuffed crust pizza.
Today
I've had a pop tart, 2 slices of bread, a small pizza that was only 360 calories, 3 Oreos, and a thing of yogurt. I know it's a lot more than usual. :/ but that's okay.

Lord I'm sorry I haven't spent as much time with You. At least not the amount of time I should be spending with You. Lord help me stay strong, help me to spend more time with You. Lord I pray that You will take away the temptations to use foul language. Lord thank You for helping me to just be honest with Ben. Being rejected is never easy. Thanks for the help You gave me in making a decision in regards to Ben, deciding whether or not I should date him. Thank You for guiding me and showing me what way You wanted me to go Lord. I love You Lord and You are such an incredible, awesome God. Thank You so very much for all You have done with me, and for me. I pray that I will lead a life pleasing to You and that I will follow the straight and narrow road that will lead me to You. Lord I pray for forgiveness because I know I have sinned and am deserving of death. Lord, forgive me.

Today

I've eaten a potatoe and a pop tart.
And worked out (:
I took a nap and just woke up.
I'm finally hungry so I may grab a light snack before going to my friends to make pizza.

Today

Breakfast was a pop tart.
Lunch was a peanut butter sandwich, an apple, and chocolate milk.
Snack was a low fat 90 calories chocolate chunk bar.

Crap.

So today is by far not the best day I've done so far on eating healthy. Oh well. I'll do better tomorrow(:
Had a great time today watching the boys swimming sectionals.
And talking to my dad.
I'm super tired.
Bed time soon I think. (:
Goodnight.

God please help me.
Take my heart and my life reshape it according to Your will.
Help me to be less selfish and proud. Help me to lead a life pleasing to You.
Forgive me for all the stupid horrible things I've said thought and done. I am entirely undeserving of You, yet You love me still. Thank You for all the incredible things Youre doing in my life. Lord no words are enough to express my thanks. I love You Lord, forever and ever and ever. Help me I be more patient more compassionate and more quiet. I love You. In Jesus name, amen.

Calorie counting

Is done.
I'm going to focus on eating healthier but I'm afraid that if I count calories as obsessively as I have the last couple days I could end up with an eating disorder or something l0l so no more counting calories for me.
I've eaten pretty healthy today (: I'll probably grab an apple to go on my way to the guys sectional meet tonight and have a hot dog for dinner. I'm gonna lose weight. Just gotta do this a more moderate way so I will be able to maintain it. (:
Took four tests today, I did great on all I them with the help of my awesome God!

Total for today

1,218 calories (:
Also did my homework.
That I've been putting off for daysssss.
Thank You Lord so much for giving me the help I needed to stop procrastinating. Thank You for all the incredible things You have done, You are doing, and You will do. I love You Lord and there is truly none like You.
Thank You for loving me.

Lunch dinner and snack

Lunch- turkey sandwich and an apple
Snack- half of a mr goodbar
Dinner- peanut butter sandwich

Lunch dinner and snack

Lunch- turkey sandwich and an apple
Snack- half of a mr goodbar
Dinner- peanut butter sandwich

Breakfast

Cookies n cream pop tart 190 calories.
water and a multivitamin.
Last night I did ten push ups.
This morning I am going to do the ab work out and run and do like 20 push ups then go to school l0l

Proverbs 31:30
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
Makes me feel better when I don't feel beautiful or charming like all the other girls in this world l0l (:
God I love You so very very much.
I need You.

Total for today

1,498 calories.
More than yesterday.
But that's all right.
Didn't work out. Crap.
Tomorrow I will.
Well maybe I'll do some push ups before bed. (:

Dinner and snack

For a snack I had yogurt. 190 calories.
Dinner: peanut butter sandwich. 1 tablespoon peanut butter 95 calories, 2 slices white bread 150.
Desert: reese cup 80.
Need to work out still.
Probably some push ups and running for 30 minutes.

God I love You

Thank You so much Lord for helping me so far in this "eating right and exercising" thing. Thank You for all You do. I love You and I need You.

Lunch

Turkey sandwich. 3 slices of turkey and white bread only. 173 calories. (:

Last night and this morning (:

Last night I got a little hungry but instead of reaching for the high calorie high fat sugar rushes, I grabbed some terriyaki jerky. I'm not entirely sure how much of a serving I ate but it was less than one. So less than 80 calories. (: then I was a little hungry and needed to wake up a bit so I indulged in an Oreo. 70 calories. So yesterday I ended up with roughly 1,300 calories. Today I'm going to try to get some veggies in too.

This morning I had a single cookies 'n' cream pop tart. 190 calories. (:

Snack and dinner and working out

I ate yogurt for a snack. 180 calories.
Dinner was garlic bread 320 calories.
Desert, an Oreo 70 calories.
Working out: ab workout (ab ripper-x)
And running/jogging for 30 minutes.
I'm doing alright (:
So far 1,173 calories.
I also found a picture of myself,
From two years ago when I was at my skinniest. For motivation.
My goal is to lost 20 or more pounds.
However i'd prefer to lose inches more than pounds.
So.
I may start taking measurements instead of weighing myself.
Well we will see huh?

Lunch

Was good.
So far today I've only consumed like 603 calories.
I need to work out sometime soon today.
I'll probably do my ab work out and run for like 45 minutes and do push ups. (:

Breakfast

Doing good so far.
No school today.
I'm going to cry.
This school year is never going to end :(
God... Help.

New purpose for blogging

Starting tomorrow
I'm going to keep track of what I eat.
And the calories.
And my weight.
I need to start eating healthier and working out more.
I joined the gym last Tuesday.
I'm planning on going pretty much everyday except Sunday and Wednesday. I will also be doing an ab workout everyday.
It's time to start taking care of myself.
This won't be easy.
So now I'm going to be listing what all I ate everyday and how I worked out and such. Hopefully this will help me stay on track.
I will also be praying for help and patience and serious determination.

Official college visit day (:

So today is the day that I receive my first official tour of the campus. I'm so excited. I got to stay the night at the Christian campus house, and all it has done is confirmed my belief that this is where I want to be.
Thank You God.
Without You I would still be going to ISU next year. Lord You are the Creator and I know someone tried to shake my faith recently but they didn't succeed in making me doubt. They made me believe that I am right or more importantly You are right. You are God. You are my savior. Lord sometimes I feel so far from You but I know You are always by my side and that You will never leave me or forsake me. Lord You are the King of all kings.
There is no one like You.
You are constant as is Your crazy love for me. Lord I do not deserve Your love. But You give it to me anyway. You give me forgiveness and grace. Lord I don't deserve any of that... But You love me anyway. Despite all the stupid horrible things that I do. You are so incredible God. I love You so very much. I want to be near You.

College

I've always been different
My hope is that in college
That will be okay.
Because I'm not a clone.
I'm so very unique.
I am off on an adventure today
I love You Lord
You always provide (:

My God Can Move Mountains

My God can move mountains.

He spoke into being 144 billion galaxies.

I do not believe in Evolution, or the Big Bang Theory.

I believe that my God created this universe.
I believe this because science itself has proved this.

When looking at other planets, and other things, there is proof that some sort of sound made everything. There are sound waves!

If the world is as old as the Evolution Theory suggests, the earth would have been on fire at that point in time because the core gradually gets cooler each year. Which means the earth, back then, would've been incapable of sustaining life.

Nothing comes from nothing because nothing ever could.

If there was nothingness, then where did this first cell come from?

The Bible says God created on the first DAY. If one was to believe that by day its just a general idea, then the time period is entirely incorrect. Data, however, shows that the time period for events in the Bible, are true.

Some would claim that the Bible is more of a general story where the meaning is more important than what actually occurs in the story, because the Bible seems to be "confusing." Well, let me put it this way, when Jesus spoke in parables the meaning was more important than what actually happened. Pretty much every single other story the meaning is equally important as what goes on.

They have found Noah's ark.

They have found proof that dinosaurs existed at the same time as humans.

There were over 500 witnesses that saw Jesus after he rose from the grave. At that point in time, the witnesses could have been sought out and questioned. No 500 people could have possibly had the exact same hallucination. The fact that Jesus rose from the dead was verified by over 500 people!

Did you know that the itty bitty things that hold the universe together, the microscopic little things that hold everything together, when magnified, it looks like a cross.

I know that some people would still not be convinced, even with all of this evidence.

I know though, that without my God, I am lost. I know because I was lost before I found Him.

I have gone through life running from one thing to the next trying to fill the emptiness in my life, and my heart. I ran from boy to boy to boy, from sport to sport to sport, from friend to friend to friend. They fill the emptiness for a very very short time, and then I am empty once more.

God is the only thing that has completely, entirely filled this hole in my heart and life.

Do you know that feeling when you just know something? You can't entirely explain how or why, but you know for a fact that something is true? That is another reason that I know my God is real. That He loves me very much. He has literally saved my life time and time again.

He rescued me from so many things.

My God is an awesome God.

My God can move mountains.

This weekend

was crazy.
Friday I was sick.
Saturday we were on a level 3 (emergency vehicles only or something like that)
Saturday night I got the chance to share my faith with someone.
I doubt I've ever been talked to like that before.
I doubt it'll be the last time though.
A lot of seriously angry texts later,
I told him I felt sorry for him, that I'd keep praying for him and goodnight.
His strong reaction tells me I was right though.
I don't regret it at all.
Because that night, for the first time,
I realized just what was at stake here.
Someone's soul.
Someone's future.
Lord, help me to remember that it is NOT about me.
It is all about You.
Lord, you spoke into being roughly 144 BILLION galaxies.
This planet, is the planet you chose to have life.
That in itself is so incredible.
In the stadium that the super bowl took place in,
it would take 144 BILLION peas to fill it up.
Feeling small?
And a single pea is how big our GALAXY is.
Not our planet, our galaxy.
All of our planets.
I feel... so small.
And special.
Who am I to You?
Why me Lord?
I am no one.
I am nothing.
I am a sinner.
I am filth, through and through.
But Lord, You love me. You chose me.
You created me.
You have a plan for my life.
You amaze me Lord.
I will praise You in the darkest night,
I'll praise You in the brightest day.
I'll praise You in the morning.
I'll praise You in the evening.
I'll praise You all of my days.
For You are the Lord my God. My Savior.
You rescued me.
Me.
A girl worth nothing.
Lord...
You chose me.
I love You.
You are my rock,
my foundation.
My hope, peace, love, and life.
You grant me mercy, grace, and forgiveness that I absolutely do NOT deserve.
Lord... Help me to remember this.
Help me to remember that this is NOT about me. It is entirely about YOU!
Lord I love You so much.
Lord I pray that You will guide me and protect me as I go through this day.
While I am at school, and intern. While I work out and when I come home.
Lord I praise Your name.
I prayed on Saturday night that I would be tested and that I would lean on You for the strength to come through.
I know that it has only begun. Lord I love You. Help me continue to cling to You.
I love You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

3 months ago

I was a totally different person.
I'm not quite sure what happened...
It was like something inside me snapped
it said "enough is enough!"
So that's what happened.
I cleaned out my closet,
My desk,
My dresser,
My room,
My life.
I ended some friendships.
I started some friendships.
I closed a lot of doors.
I opened better ones.
I stopped letting people walk all over me.
I stopped pretending.
I became someone else entirely.
I'm not so sure that that's how it's supposed to happen, such a drastic change in such a short time...
but I did.
And it's for the best. I know.
Especially when God welcomed me home.
Thank you Lord.
Forgive my wandering heart.
In the bible it says you are a light searching out the innermost parts of my heart.
Lord my heart is Yours to search, change, and mold.
I surrender all to You Lord, my Savior (:

I wanna

Scream.
To make sure I still have a voice.
Laugh.
To make sure I know what happiness is.
Cry.
To make sure I'm still alive.

I want to feel like I exist.
Like I'm alive.
I wanna hit something
To reassure myself I am real.
I wanna feel my muscles flex in anger
Or hate
Or adrenaline
I don't care
I just want to FEEL

See I don't know about you but

I'm sick of faking it.
I wanna let my hair down
Drink too much monster
Laugh too loud
Drive a little too fast
Scream at the top of my lungs
Just to know that I'm not invisible.
I feel... Invisible.
It's not fun when you used to be seen.
When people used to actually talk to you
But now they comment on your facebook
Instead of turning to you and saying
"hey can you unload the dishwasher?"
I am invisible.
And I hate it.

My Cousin's Ex

I shouldn't hate her.
I shouldn't
I shouldn't
I shouldn't
And I don't hate her.
I just think she is the most selfish, shallow, jerk I've ever met.
That is all.
Lord help me forgive her.
I just can't help but wish she'd trip and fall and break her nose.
I am a horrible horrible horrible person. I know.

I know He hears me.

So here I am again.

Frustrated, hurting, and still lonely.

I am so sick and tired of feeling like I can't do anything right.

I'm sick of feeling completely alone.

I'm sick of feeling like nobody even wants me in their life.

I'm sick of feeling completely isolated...

I'm sick of feeling like I have to keep it all inside because if I let it out, nobody will understand.

I'm leaving in roughly 200 days for a college 7 hours away.

I don't want to start a relationship here.

I don't want to get hurt again.

I don't want anybody here.

Yes, I did meet someone Saturday.

Yes, he is a great guy.
Yes, I probably would be extremely lucky to have him.
No, I don't want him.

No, I don't want to date him.

Yes, I realize that this upsets my best friend.

I just wish she'd realize where I'm coming from.

I'm so sick getting my heart broken.

If I were to date him...

It would be a very reckless and selfish decision.

I would end up hurting myself as well as him.

I just keep praying to God for help and protection.

Lord, You've done some incredible work in my life lately.

You've saved my heart from another ache. You kept me from falling for him.

Thank You.

It may sound horrible to most people, I know, I just cannot keep getting hurt.

And if I dated him, it would be like placing my hand in a fire and keeping it there.

Stupid and painful.

Oh Lord I am so tired of hurting everyone around me.

I'm so tired of feeling like I have no one.

I hate that it's not that I just feel that way.

It's that I really do not have anybody anymore.

She kept me so isolated from people, and now that we're no longer best friends... I have no one. Oh I know that I have Kelsey, Lauren, Josiah, and Kasey. But Lord, Lauren is in Tennessee. Josiah is all the way in Nebraska. Kasey is two and a half hours away, but at least in the same state. Kelsey doesn't go to my school, but she's the closest geographically. My friends are few and quite literally far between. 3 of which are very busy with their college lives. I feel like I've been abandoned. Lord... Help me...

In my loneliness I cry out for things I don't really even want anymore.

Like Logan.

I do not really want him back. At all.

I just want to no longer feel lonely.

I want someone to hold me and love me.

Lord please please please help me survive the rest of this year.

Please.

I love You, Lord.
Amen.

Balance in trust

I need to find a balance.
How much do I trust him?
Should I trust him?
Being hurt so much in my past has made me afraid.
Very afraid.
And wary.
Can I trust someone again?
The way I used to?
I guess I sort of am with this blog.
I'm tired of not trusting people.
I'm tired of being hurt.
So I stay alone.
People aren't meant to be alone.
Lord forgive me.

My biggest fear

Isn't going to college. Or being sooo far from home.
It's that college will verify that I am worthless.
That I am no beautiful or skinny or cool or anything exceptional.
What if it turns out that when I get to college I'm once more shoved to the side for someone more pretty more skinny more cool more rich more smart more popular? What if being at college just points out how incredibly insignificant I truly am? And that is my greatest fear. Lord, oh Lord, help me.

A girl's heart

A girl's heart is made of the finest porcelain.

It's fragile and easily broken.

It's beautiful and breath taking.

And it's usually given too easily.

Once it's broken nothing you do will fix it.

Nothing.

Ever.

Well, there is only one place/person it can be fixed.

God.

Whether you like it or not, it's the truth.

God alone can heal the wounds in a person's heart.
God alone can fix a heart that was once thought broken beyond all recognition.

He alone will make it look as if it was never broken in the first place.

He alone can take away your burdens,

your pain.

He offers hope,

love,

mercy,

grace,

forgiveness.

Even when we least deserve it.

He will never love us less.

I have given my heart too freely.
I am going to protect it now,

as the fine porcelain it is.
Because there were cracks in it,

that were quite entirely avoidable.

My God, it is Yours to heal and reshape.

I want to preserve it for the one.

The one you have chosen for me.

The one you're preparing for me.

I don't know him yet,

but I love him.

I'm waiting for him.

I hope he's waiting for me too.

A place to run

That's what I need. Lord I run into Your arms when I am lost and afraid. Well God, I need a legit place to go to get away from this. Lord I need a break. This constant fighting constant worrying I can't handle it. I am so afraid. Thank You or wiping my tears away and for fighting my fears for me. Thank You for protecting me and holding me safely in Your arms. Your embrace is the one I crave. I love You Lord. (:

A Glitch in Life?

Sometimes I think that people aren't supposed to love other people this way. That they are supposed to love them but still be capable of revoking their love when their heart is left shattered in a puddle of mud. Lord, is this just a glitch in a program called Life? Lord I feel forsaken sometimes, and I feel so incredibly broken a lot of the time. I feel lost, hurt, and afraid. Lord I beg you to fill these holes in my heart, because You alone will even come close. Lord I know that having him back won't heal all the wounds he's caused. I also realize that I probably never should've loved him that way. Lord I am so so so sorry. For everything I've done. Lord, looking back on my life, I see so many glaring mistakes. I can't seem to let go of my past, or forgive myself. Lord... Please let your forgiveness help me forgive me too. Lord I can't let go... Lord help it slip through my fingers like sand. I don't want to cling to this anymore. These horrible horrible memories, and the ones that make me cry because I miss the times when we'd just lay on the floor and talk. I miss the way he looked at me as if I was the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. Lord will no one look at me that way again? How could they? Oh God, my God. My heart aches and there is no way to remedy the wrongs I've done, or the wrongs he's done. Lord I want nothing more than to go back in time, and have him hold me one last time. Lord, I am afraid because of this. I know that no matter what I hope for, or think, or do, I will not ever entirely move on. It doesn't matter that I told him and everyone else that I've moved on and I couldn't care less anymore. It doesn't matter that he broke my heart so many times for a girl that would break his the way he broke mine. It doesn't matter that he rejected me for a slutty girl that was a little too young for him. Lord... No one is supposed to love this way. This unconditionally. Lord I don't think I even love my own parents this way, or my best friend this way. Lord I am afraid. Why oh why oh why? Lord will anyone be able to compare to him? Will anyone else wipe my tears from my eyes and make me smile just by looking at me? Lord will anyone else hold me when I'm shaking in fear? Lord will anyone ever look at me like that again? That's what I want. No, no, it's not. Oh Lord... I just want him to look at me like that again. I want him to come to me and say "Stephanie... I love you. I'm so so so sorry that my heart wandered from you for even a second. Please, I'm begging you, forgive me." And Lord half of me wants him to do that so I can laugh in his face and say "It's too late." So I can make him feel the pain he's caused me. The other half though, the more powerful half, wants to say "There is nothing left to forgive. I love you. Forever and always. If you doubt anything, please don't doubt that I love you more than life itself." And Lord that's just it, that's the sickest, vilest, most disgusting part of this whole thing. That I would mean every single word. That I haven't moved on yet, and that these wounds have yet to heal. Lord sometimes I doubt that they ever will. Lord I'm scared out of my mind to even consider being with anyone, unless it's him. Lord, Lord, Lord, save me. Heal this useless heart please I beg you. Lord I want you to hold me in your arms, I want you to tell me that you love me. Lord, I want to be told I am loved. Lord I long to be loved. Oh my God, my beautiful God, I know that You alone can rescue me. I know that You alone can love me the way I loved him. But Lord, you love me more than I loved Logan. Lord, does that mean that maybe one day, someone else will have a glitch in their Life and love me that way too? Lord I pray that when that happens that that glitch will happen once again. But Lord I pray for you to only let me love like that again when he is the one. Lord I don't want to feel this kind of pain. I don't want to feel like I'm walking around with only half of my heart. Lord... I don't want to feel this lost anymore. I don't want to be lonely anymore. Lord, Lord, Lord. Help me, please please please. Only You can help me now. I feel as if I have lost a once in a lifetime thing. Lord I am afraid that I will turn out like Jane Austen. The beautiful irony that was her life. Lord, she was so much stronger than I ever was or could ever hope to be. Lord I am tired of feeling weak and helpless. In my weakness Lord I pray that You will give me Your strength. Lord. Help me to be stronger. Lord, I just need to know... Is there hope that one day I may move on from him? That one day I will find someone to love just as deeply, maybe even more deeply? Lord, I have to know... Is there hope for me? I hear a still small voice in my mind say "There is always hope." A quote drifts into my mind with ease, and I cannot deny it. "When all else is lost there is still hope." Oh Lord, there is always hope. There is always hope. Lord I beg You to protect me from this kind of pain and doubt. I know You can't do that, for how else will I grow? Lord... Here I am. Take me as I am. Change me. Make me new. Lord I am sick of this person I am. This person I've been. Take from me this wretched burdens that weigh me down. These burdens from my past. These sins I've committed and never forgiven myself for. Lord I just pray that You will help me to become all that You want me to be. Lord I pray that You will help me be less selfish. Lord, You are so so wonderful. Lord, I know that You alone are God. You created the heavens and the earth, the birds, the trees, the flowers, the grass, the leaves. Not one is the same as the next and because of that I know that You took great care in the creation of each. Lord I can't help but conclude from that that You adore me so much more. Lord You look at me the way he looked at me. The way I long to be looked at. As if I am anything but what I am. Thank you my God, for listening to me, for holding me as I cried. Wrap me in Your arms oh God. Hold me, and never ever ever let me go. I love You. So so much. I love You.

I don't bother with lying.

It's the truth.
I loathe lies.
I adore the truth.
Always.
I would prefer the truth,
over a lie every single time.
Even when the truth,
will reduce me to tears.

Which is why I'm having a problem.
What is the truth in this situation?
It's inside of me,
I know that much.
But which truth is the truth?
Which path do I choose?
This is what I know:
I'm a little bit lonely.
I want God to fill that loneliness.
My heart longs for love.
God can fill that too.
This is the problem:
If God fills every single inch
of the gaping hole in my heart,
why do I long for more?
So I return once more to that verse.
"The heart is wicked and deceitful above all else."
So does this mean we should cut out our heart,
in hopes that without our heart,
we can serve God better?
That without feeling,
without want,
we can somehow be more pure?
However, this also does not make any sense.
Because God has also said
not to be lukewarm.
And with no heart, no way to feel,
how could one be anything other than lukewarm?
Now perhaps you see my problem?
Confusion clouds my vision.
Hope begins to flicker,
like a candle on a windy day.
Oh God, my God...
why have You forsaken me?
And yet I'll cling to what I know,
I'm never alone.
You will NEVER leave me,
or abandon me,
or give up on me.
You will NEVER quit me,
grow tired of me,
or even love me less.
I'll cling to this grain of absolute truth
in the hopes of discovering more truths.

The heart

Is deceitful and wicked.
Lord help me to cling to you like you are my last breath,
my next step,
my oxygen,
my life,
my heart,
and my soul.
Lord I give You all of me to do with what You will and I praise You for all Your wondrous doings.
You are the king of all kings.
You spoke this world into being.
You took such care in creating leaves,
Grass,
Trees,
Flowers,
Birds.
Lord how much more is a human life to a plant?
That is how I know You love me.
That is how I know You care for me.
I love You!
Goodnight my love.