It's been a while...

and a lot has changed.
Ignore all blogs refering to C.
God helped me see the light, and release me of the feelings I had toward someone that did not deserve me. Someone that only cares about sex and getting high. God, You saved me once more. Thanks.
It's almost my birthday.
This is a big deal. Not because it's my birthday, but because 4 years ago I would've told you I'd be dead by my 18th birthday.
2 years ago, I was planning on marrying Sam shortly after my 18th birthday.
1 year ago, I was planning on moving out, losing my virginity, and moving in with Tyler.
Instead, I am obviously still alive. I am single. I am not moving out of my parents house, or in with a waste of a man, and I am proud to say that I am still a virgin. I am proud to say I've decided to wait until I'm married actually. I'm a christian now as well.
I just want to say, I was never supposed to be alive right now.
And if I was, life was supposed to be drastically different.
It's strange to think about the fact that my life could've been moving in 3 different directions with 3 different people... instead, my life took a fourth turn. One I wasn't prepared for, but one I'm glad it took.
my birthday is a big deal, because i'm supposed to be dead right now, and i'm not.
it's the most... incredible feeling.