He's not mine...

I love him so much still. I love him more than any of the girls he's dated, more than they could even imagine. I would give my life willingly for him. I shouldn't love him still... It's been over a year... It still hurts... so badly. Lord, I can't imagine a future without him. God, You alone know how hard I've tried to replace him... None come close. I miss the scar on his lip, the warmth of his embrace, the love written so openly on his face... I miss his smell, his obnoxious sense of humor, I miss my best friend... I'll never have him again. I thought that leaving home, being so far away, I thought that it'd make a huge difference... It hasn't... I still love him. I still can't let go. I still can't let someone else in again, because I never want to be hurt like that again.. I love him. God I don't know how to let him go. I don't know how to not think about him every. single. day. I don't know how to forgive him for hurting me so badly. No, that's not true. I forgave him the second he hurt me. I love him so much. Will I ever find someone? not if i don't let go of him. Lord, I know that's why i'm still single... Help me... I'm so tired of struggling alone.