My Life Right Now

I hate college. I hate living with this many other girls. I hate sharing my room with someone selfish and spoiled. I hate going to classes, and being stressed out about grades. I hate not knowing what I want to do with my life. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I want to just drop out of college. I hate that I feel lonely all the time. I hate that I feel like I'm even more alone here than I was at home. Because there are so many people here, and yet, not a single person is like me. I'm so tired of feeling abnormal. I'm tired of feeling like I'm invisible, like I don't matter to the people that are supposedly my friends. God where are You in all of this? Where are You Lord? I need to feel You so desperately. I need Your arms around me. I hate this!! I hate that it doesn't matter where I am... I'm still strange, unwanted, and invisible. God where are You? Can't You hear my cries for help? Can't You give me someone that can help me carry on? Can't You help me trust someone? God why can't I let people in? Why can't I trust people? Why can't I let go of the past? Why can't I let go of Logan? God why the freak do I still love him? Why did I let him hurt me so badly? God... please let him find You. It's been over a year since we dated. It will have been a year in December since I last thought I had him. Lord. I lost him because I found You.. I don't want my life to be without You. Lord I just don't want a life without him either. God... save me from myself. I know Satan is fighting hard. I feel so weak... Lord I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle. I feel like I'm fighting against hundreds and I'm alone. Help me Lord, please help me