God and C

Dear God,
Help me not to love him, even though the selfishness of my heart is begging for his love. I can't ask him to give me something he is not at liberty to give. I can't take away from someone something so wonderful. Something that if I had once had, I would feel inconsolable if I lost him. Especially if it was to another girl.
Sometimes I get the feeling that he loves me too... Things are just... too complicated. He loves his girlfriend, I know, but she drives him insane as well. I guess thats how any relationship goes, huh? I'd just like to think I could make him so much happier. He's just not mine to have or to take. It would be wrong and inexcusable for me to do any of the things I long to do. I can't explain any of the things that I say. So all I can do is hope that he knows. and sometimes, when he looks in my eyes, I think he knows... I hope he does.
Lord... help me...
I'm so confused, and well... confused. :/ I... I'm tired of rejection and loneliness. I don't want to feel this way about someone I can't have. I want to feel this way about someone I can have. Someone free to love me back...
I know I haven't asked You to show me what You want for this situation, I'm sorry. I'm scared to know. I'm scared You will give me an answer that will hurt, an answer I won't like. I know that's incredibly selfish of me. Just, Lord, please, do not ask this of me. Not if I don't have to. Lord I don't want to be alone or lonely anymore... I want someone to love me the way he does, to treat me the way that he does. Lord, just, why can't it be him? Why couldn't it have been him? :( Help me God. Help me. Please. I know that this is my fault. I'm sorry. I need your help so desperately. to get over him... even though I don't want to...
That's the problem too, I know... I'm so sorry. I don't want to let go. I don't want to let go of something or someone that makes me feel the way that he does. Guide me please... Help me let go if thats what is best for me.