28 February 2011

I met a man today, he's 92. His wife is in the hospital, they've been married for 71 years. That's a very very long time. He loves her deeply, and it was so moving to see. I hope that if I live to be that old, I have someone who loves me that deeply, and knows me intimately.
I'm also hoping that I can start to become better. As in, weighing less, or looking better. I'm starting yoga. I'm going to start doing 20 minutes a day, which isn't much, but it's better than nothing. I'm sure I'll be able to tell a difference too. I can feel a difference already. I just feel more productive and accompllished. I'm sure that the added endorphins help a lot too(: I'm still on the Zoloft and now the birth control as well. I'm hoping that everything will start to balance out soon, the birth control has made me a little sensitive lately. Hopefully it'll pass though.
I'm behind in my classes. I need to finish The Red Badge of Courage for English, and a chapter for Political Science. I also need to read the paper, and a critical essay. I have to try to catch up with my Mythology class too.. Thankfully I'm doing just fine in my Music class. I even turned in the concert report today, and I was so afraid that I wouldn't make it to a concert or write the report. I did though, and that makes me super happy. I feel like I'm finally starting to maybe figure this out a little bit more... I just want to learn all of a sudden. My thirst for knowledge is finally coming back slowly, despite the hurt from the past. I'm so excited to learn, and although I still dread classes, I'm always glad when I go to class. I always feel better, knowing that I'm trying to grow my knowledge, vocabulary, and abilities. I think if I keep going to classes and stuff, my life will turn around a lot. I think that the depression will slowly fade. The depression keeps me isolated in my room, in my bed, a lot of the time, and then I always feel worse because I'm not doing anything or interacting with anyone. I feel like if I continue to force myself out of bed in the mornings, I'll be okay. I'll make it through one day at a time, and eventually pull out of this some pretty decent grades... It also helps a lot that I have so many people praying for me. I love my family and friends, they are solid.